Today, no this year, has been full of moments of clarity of thought where I have stumbled upon myself to find that answers I have searched for all my life lie now before me in the plainest of light. Why? Because I am surrounded by life and death and I now realise that the biggest things in life are therefore free. My ability to celebrate the life I have is mirrored by my capacity to mourn what I lose. My mourning has and will come. I know this. Therefore the life I have, right here and now, well I needs must celebrate it as to not to do so would be an insult to those who mourn right now.
The other week I watched my team, Spurs, play a football game and then watched as a young man died for a time on the pitch. Miraculously he has come back to life after being technically dead for an unimaginable length of time. Yesterday I learnt of a client who had died suddenly. He was young. There was no warning. I tell you this to hearten you rather than depress you, though I recognise that our culture is to see the arrival of illness and death as sorrowful as it reminds us of our finite self rather than of our life we have. Other cultures seek to embrace life with death. The legendary wakes that some cultures have is an example of this.
After a week where just maybe you felt the world upon your shoulders, I hope you can feel this weight lightened as you reckon on the life you have, this very moment that you read this blog. In receiving this life, you receive hope and blessing and that is the gift that life has for us and that death delivers to us too.
The astounding fact that the biggest thing in life, namely life and death, costs nothing, is a huge and important thought for me. It is a release that rather than chasing what may or may not reward, rather I might concentrate more on living for the now with joy, with happiness, with a released sense of freedom. I may have messed up 5000 things in my life, but I can at least live the now.
PS – saw my publisher today. Book launch could be early July!!!!!! How very exciting indeed!